Articles

Missing skills to reach one’s goals

Posted by on Jan 15, 2020 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

Missing skills to reach one’s goals

I have heard many people telling me their goals of what they wish to do, especially at the beginning of the year. Sometimes 5 to 10 years later, I hear them saying the same goals – whether it is making more money, or losing weight or having better relationships, etc. After 30 years of coaching business owners and executives, I found that how to CARRY OUT the actions to reach the goals is a skill in itself to be learned! For e.g., many people like to have relationships that last. But only the minority make it. Up to 80% of businesses in the US fail in the first 3 years. Yet, we have no shortage of knowledge – in fact there is such an abundance of knowledge on how to succeed in all fields available in this digital age! So where does the problem lie? I created this leadership seminar to help business owners and executives to find the missing gaps in their steps to reach their income and leadership goals: http://consultanthellenchen.com/winning-leadership-seminar I do believe in the power of goal-setting, and having a clear vision of what we want in life. However, one also needs to DO the correct steps to reach those goals.  And what are the correct steps for another person, may not be the right ones for you! Doing nothing or doing a lot (with someone else's steps which do not fit you) all lead to the same result: failed goals.  Hellen Chen PS: If you are not sure if this seminar is for you, or simply like to know more how it may relate to your career or business goals, I suggest you to call and talk to my team. Our phone number: (800) 912-0510 Link to the seminar page:...

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In Marriage, the Fun Comes with Your Dedication

Posted by on Aug 8, 2018 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

In Marriage, the Fun Comes with Your Dedication

If you want to play the game of marriage well, you have to assess how much participation you wish to put in, how much attention you pay and the degree of your care. How can you get any great pleasure without active engagement? It is like playing on a basketball team. A player who cares for the team will put all his effort into training because he’s serious about competition and cares about everything related to the team. He treasures his uniform and make sure to show up on time for practices. It is all about being dedicated and taking it to heart. If you give your full efforts and are serious, you can then play it for the best enjoyment, enjoying the highest collaboration with the team. In contrast, some people, though on a basketball team, do not care much about playing or practicing. Something else is always on their mind. It is imaginable that their performance will be affected. The relationship between team members are the same way. If everyone is equally dedicated, and they all like playing the game, then the game will be fun and high spirited. On the contrary, if some players love playing the game, while others do not, unhappiness in the team will ensue. Just by looking at the field of playing sports, we can see the big differences between attitude and result. You can choose what you want. If you do not wish to participate that much, it is only natural that you do not get much rewards back. To be a good player in the game of marriage, you need to be well- equipped, apart from your level of commitment. Happiness is not based on luck. Instead, it is based on continuous practice and hard work, constantly ‘doing’ until it materializes. A happy marriage requires a great deal of interest and commitment from one’s part, and lots of management. Serious problems occur in a marriage not because of ‘marriage’ itself. It is because those who are involved do not value enough, do not understand, or do not concentrate on this aspect of life. For example, if you only like to work and are not willing to spend time managing your marriage, then the rate of failure is of course very high. The key to marriage management is your ability, which can be acquired through learning. Many people have acquired this ability at my Love Seminar events. No matter what is your goal for your relationships or marriage, the success of it fully depends on whether you are serious and whether you will work hard to develop that “love ability” – it is all boiling down to one’s decision to do so or not. I will be holding my Love Seminar in Los Angeles on September 29. Looking forward to see all of you in LA. Hellen Chen Relationship Consultant...

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Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar

Posted by on Jan 11, 2018 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar

Do you dream about having a fairy-tale love story? What if you could make it come true? You can create and live the most beautiful love story you can ever imagine!! Hellen Chen's Love Seminar will be held in Los Angeles:  http://smarturl.it/LA_love_seminar Hellen Chen Relationship Consultant...

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Lasting love is not achieved by flowers, diamonds or having a house

Posted by on Dec 6, 2017 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

Lasting love is not achieved by flowers, diamonds or having a house

  Many people would admit that lasting love is not achieved by flowers, diamonds or having a house. Yet, men and women commit the same mistakes of trying to keep a relationship lasting by...yes, putting their attention on flowers, diamonds or any materialistic items such as money! Love is achieved by constantly teasing and flirting with each other and creating the loving romantic feeling. When a wife comes home, the act of a husband walking up to his wife to give her a hug would show his sweetness much better than if he would buy her anything she wants and yet never really talks to her. Similarly, when a husband comes home, if a wife stands up and welcome her husband. This will make the husband very happy! Yes, he will feel much happier than the wife being simply “too busy” to even greet the husband. But if the husband comes home and the wife has a stiff face and she says in a rough voice, “So you are back! Hungry??” The husband will forget that he is hungry and when he looks at his wife’s face, he will think, “This looks dangerous. I better go somewhere else!” So in the world of love, it is very important to learn how to make another person comfortable and at the same time, be comfortable yourself. This is an art which I teach at my Love Seminar. We have seen many husbands afraid of wives -- typical henpecked husbands. Poor guys. They work hard, make money, they are competent and handsome. But they are very much afraid of their wives. They say, “My wife won’t allow me.” “I can’t. My wife will get mad.” Of course, there are different types of fear. If the fear creates so much pressure and so much discomfort, there will be marital problems that get worse. The lesson to take away is, are you aware of how comfortable you make another person feel, or are you so insensitive that your loved ones are simply tolerating you or too afraid of you? What kinds of feelings do you create for another when you are with someone? Some people assume that because they have gotten along well with their co-workers and clients in their professional field, they would have no problem with their spouses and family members. Many managers, execs, CEOs who have attended my Love Seminar, and with surprise discovered their lack of handling skills in areas of communication whenever love matters are concerned. Love is an ABILITY. Love is not achieved by luck or your money. I will be holding my 18th Love Seminar in Los Angeles. Looking forward to see all of you in LA. Hellen Chen Relationship Consultant...

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17th Los Angeles Love Seminar Success Stories

Posted by on Sep 19, 2017 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

17th Los Angeles Love Seminar Success Stories

I had such a great time at my 17th Love Seminar event in Los Angeles today!! Romance, lasting love relationships are all possible! My husband and I have been married for close to 30 years and we fall more in love with each other year after year. Having taught many couples and singles how to create the beautiful love story they have wanted, and having helped many couples to walk down the aisle, and to stay happily together, I know true love is indeed something ANYONE can experience -- no matter age, race, culture! Reading through the feedback and success stories shared from the Love Seminar attendees really made me very happy. One can indeed create love and passion and happiness. It really starts from ourselves! Here are some great successes from my students: "We do all wrong in all modern society. So the right thing is to marry and then build the relationship starting from that very strong basic foundation. If you date or hesistate, you'll get nothing." -- S. Marie "I understand the importance of happiness that originate from me, versus wanting others to make me happy. The passion of life is created by myself!" --S. C. "It is impossible to have romance or have the "in-love" feeling when I cannot even be happy with myself. When I am with my husband, the love sparks get less and less. When I cannot create happiness for myself, I can never create happiness for another." --A. C. "During the seminar, I found the exact reason why I had failed with a past girl that I had loved. Just this understanding alone frees me up to create even more now. I now know more about myself!" --S.C. "If I want love and romance from my wife, it starts from my actions to create love. I see how little I have given, and yet expect a lot. Thanks Hellen, this is a big lesson for me." --Z.W. "How would I know if the person in front of me is the "right" one? I was consumed with looking at the faults of another to the point that I missed the faults in myself, and also missed my ultimate goal, to have a relationship that last, not money, nor status, nor other materialistic criteria. I now know how to find my "right partner'." --Z. H. For my next Los Angeles Love Seminar, go...

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Hellen Chen Interview on VoiceAmerica Radio

Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

Hellen Chen Interview on VoiceAmerica Radio

Part 2 is here! Bestselling author and relationship expert, Hellen Chen appeared again on the VoiceAmerica radio show "Transformation for Success" on Tuesday, September 12, 2017, at 12 PM Pacific Standard Time. Host Dr. Barbara Young talked with Ms. Chen about a range of topics, including the fear of meeting the "wrong person", and what men and women want out of relationships. Hellen also shared about concepts in her Matchmaker of the Century book: dating after marriage. Check out PART 2 of the interview right here: Listen to PART 1 of the interview here: Details of Hellen Chen's Love Seminar in Los Angeles can be found...

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“Date after marriage, not before.”

Posted by on Jul 11, 2017 in Articles, Blog, Events | 0 comments

“Date after marriage, not before.”

  I emphasize “date after marriage, not before.” When one is just dating with someone, the issues faced will never be the major issues faced by a married couple.   The most important point of marriage is to find a person first, then you can create love together with that person -- for the rest of your life.   Before you build a house, you need a piece of land. How the land looks is not important. The most important point is to find the land first before you can build a house.   If you first fantasize on how your house should look, how the decor should be, it is not practical thinking. You don’t even have land! Once you have land, you can build it any way you want – how fancy the design is, how elegant the decor is – all up to you! If you have land, you are not worried about having an ugly house. You will build it the way you like it. If the house is ugly, then it is your own doing!   This is what I mean by the principle of “staking out your land.”   As to how to fight for this land, how to win it, what kinds of ways to get it, how to get the contract... this is the time to flaunt your talents!   If you cannot get the contract, who would know how talented you really are?   Isn’t the sequence to get the contract first, then work on the “how-to” in executing the project? Many people have lots of good ideas about a project, but they cannot even come near to getting a client’s contract.   There is an old Chinese saying: first form a family, establish your career after. The modern individuals often do it the opposite way.   They think they must have financial stability before marriage – they have been taught incorrectly on this point. Does that mean a person who has financial stability will never get divorced? Does that mean a person who doesn’t have financial stability could never get married? All these are not correct.   The principle is simple. If one person can survive on their own, then two persons will not be a problem!   After marriage, one will increase one’s responsibility level, especially after giving birth to kids. One has more willingness to produce. You have your own place to take care of. You may need the income of you and your spouse to make it. But that is taking responsibility in life and it is more interesting and a lot more constructive.   Marriage has nothing to do with smartness. It is a matter of willingness.   The decision to get married will make you improve. After marriage, you are forced to move forward in life, and having children will force you to move forward as well. For survival sake, you have no choice but to become competent and able.   Marriage is all about staking out a path. This path is a very long journey traveled by 2 persons.   Don’t think critically about your spouse and how he or she is not a match –even the most matched couples will fight. Do not mind how the man may be somewhat dull in some areas or the woman is not the ideal person one is looking for.   So don’t criticize another person. Think about 10, 20 years later, does that person have the potential to travel on this road with you? That is the main point you should look at.   When I look at a person, I never look at his appearance or what his salary is. I look at his potential. Is his goal the same as mine: willing to improve and grow?   You have to ask yourself what kind of life you would like to live 10, 20 years from now? And thus nourish the relationship with your partner to get to where you wish to go!   If you want to know how to find the right...

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What matters the most in your life?

Posted by on May 4, 2017 in Articles, Events | 0 comments

What matters the most in your life?

At the end of life, what could you look back and really know you have not lived in vain? One thing that matters the most to me is love. I believe in love and I believe that all of us can create and live the most beautiful love story we can ever imagine! See you at my next love seminar event: Los Angeles Event: http://smarturl.it/hc-la-seminar Taiwan...

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How Do You Really Understand Someone?

Posted by on May 4, 2017 in Articles, Events | 0 comments

How Do You Really Understand Someone?

My side passion has always been to meddle in other people's relationship issues. And over the years, in addition to being a business and management consultant, I have even earned the title of "Matchmaker of the Century." This title was given to me by the couples I have match-made. It is not because I have match-made thousands of people. It is because the people whom I have match-made usually have hard-to-resolve issues which make them not wanting marriage. My longest record has been working with a lady for 8 years, to finally get her to say "I do." Many people have told me the reason why they could not get married is because they have not found someone they like. What I have seen is people wasting lots of time in dating. They wanted to "make sure" someone is the right one. They hanged on to futile relationships or they break up with the person whom they should have married. Here is another issue: if you have met someone you like, how do you go about understanding that person? Do you go out with him to watch a movie? Have dinner? Kiss? Observe how he dresses? Ask about his background? The truth is: you cannot fully understand a person this way! It is not that you are not smart enough. It is the fact that even he himself does not know himself. You ask him 10 questions about life. He says, "I don't know" or even if he gives an answer, it is not completely how he feels. Can you see the problem? He is not even sure why he gives those answers! If you really want to know a person completely, you need to use a whole lifetime and at least be with him/her! And people change. Your favorite color, food, music and hobbies all can change. So if you think you "understand" someone, I guess this could only happen if he/she never changes. For some of you, your parents or siblings have not understood you despite spending so much time together. Thus, to find a partner who can truly understand you is almost an impossible task! You spend 2 years dating this person – how well do both of you know each other? So why waste the 2 years? Why not just get married first and then try to understand each other? At least this is your better half, you will start to manage your marriage life, have kids, etc. This kind of life is real. When you are just a boyfriend and a girlfriend, what you understand and know about each other is not real – both sides are always withholding certain things. How she dresses for you at the date may not be how she dresses usually. After marriage, she may not dress this way or speak to you in the same manner. And the love sparks between you and her are just like acting in a play. No matter how much you have given for this relationship, it is like trying to fill up a bucket with water, but the bucket is filled with holes. You assume that spending more time together will help you understand each other more. I have to tell you this truth: over time, one simply has better skills to not reveal certain things and matters that get covered up between both of you will become more and more! A lady came and met me for the first time. She told me she was with her boyfriend for 8 years. And the second time she met with me again, I told her, "You can separate from your boyfriend. This year we will find someone for you and you can get married." Tears streamed down her eyes. After one week, she separated from her boyfriend. Now she is happily married, expecting a child, and happier than ever before! This lady later asked me, "How did you know I should separate with my boyfriend?" I understood what happened. She spent 8 years with her ex-boyfriend, but there was no end to it....

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Hellen Chen’s LOVE-U-Forever Relationship Love Seminar

Posted by on Feb 8, 2017 in Articles, Events | 0 comments

Hellen Chen’s LOVE-U-Forever Relationship Love Seminar

  In January, I hosted my fifteenth Love Seminar in Los Angeles, USA. I am so humbled to have met such an amazing group of work professionals and couples. They all came from different backgrounds but they have one thing in common: they all shared similar values when it comes to love and personal improvement. Here are some incredible feedback from my students:   I thought my problem had been my shyness with women. At this event, I found out even if I had met a "perfect" match, I would have a hard time to keep this relationship going. This event woke me up. Thanks for the very powerful info on not only how to approach women but also to make relationships last.  -- Ken   I loved the "practice session" in your event. I have been married for close to 10 years. There has been no major problems going on with my husband but here is where the problem lies, our relationship has no sparks or passion. You showed me what was missing -- I see it all started with my communication. I don't have to avoid saying certain things out of fear of upsetting my spouse. And I don't have to "try so hard" to be nice. By the way, I wish to say your love seminar is the only event I have come across (I have attended other events) that truly let attendees practice how to interact with people the correct way. Please keep me informed on your future events.  -- June   How I wished I had come across your seminar and materials 10 years ago!! I was the typical "busy working professional" who despite wanting to get married, kept on missing the boat. Some people envy me for my professional success and the money I make, but they never know my failures in relationships. You are the first person I met who truly helped me answer these questions: how do I find the right person and how do I know who is suitable for me? Thanks for such a clear direction!  -- Angeline   I am 51 this year and was divorced for many years. I went in and out of dating men and became very frustrated on why I could not find the right person. I started to wonder "what's wrong with me?" You showed me what really mattered to keep a relationship going. Thank you!  -- Josephine   My wife and I had a very serious fight recently and she was contemplating divorce. Your workshop sheds light for me what exactly deteriorated this relationship. It was not what I thought on how we had grown apart. You showed me how both of us could fully do what we love to do in life without "compromising" for each other. We could have different interests, different friends, etc and still find a solid common ground. Your event gave me tremendous hope. I now know how to be a better man for my wife!  -- Jack   I love what you taught at the event. I thought I had missed the time for finding a husband after raising 2 boys myself. I felt awkward dating and felt totally at a loss when a new date wanted to be intimate. You make having a lasting relationship SIMPLE again for me. I know now how to find my ideal mate.  -- Madeline   My workshop seminars have helped men and women from all around the world on how to experience their own “happily ever after.” I developed special relationships with my students throughout the years and I have witnessed the enormous growth in both their personal and professional lives.   In case you have missed my last event, I am excited to be hosting my next Love Seminar workshop in Los Angeles on May 20, 2017. The topics I discuss in my workshops are unique and different to one another. I am always learning new skills and sharing what I have learned on what it takes to nurture and maintain meaningful relationships.   Join us for our...

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Knowing How to Create Love: Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar

Posted by on May 28, 2016 in Articles, Events | 0 comments

Knowing How to Create Love: Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar

  Love is a state of feeling pure, beautiful, positive and wonderful, and to feel "crazy" for the things you do. It's a high energy, and an uncontrollable feeling that is also playful and exciting. Love does not need to depend on another person but it can be created by oneself. Hellen gave another great seminar on how to love and be loved. Here are some incredible successes from our students: Hellen made it so clear how to create "LOVE." It is just pure stuff, and something one can be crazy for. I was thinking in the past how to make other people comfortable but now, I know it's a wrong direction. I have to make myself comfortable first, I can then pass on that feeling to another person. I'm going to practice giving "pure" love to everyone, and create love from my heart/mind. What a great seminar! A.W   Today's seminar helped me to understand how to create the love feeling in my life. When I can causatively create the feeling of love, no matter who the person in front of me is, and no matter in which moment, love can be created. I can practice to demonstrate love in my marriage and towards my working partners. I can have a greater ability to love every single person who shows up in my life. I.C   I am really impressed of how Hellen brought the group into a deep understanding -- a true understanding about love. I learn the importance of not mixing up the "love time" and "work time" in my marriage. I am also creating love, not affected by the condition or other people. This is the ability I will practice forever! I.W   The definition of love shared at this event surprised me! What I could create for my spouse took on a whole new dimension! There are simply so many creative ways to create love! W.C   Love is simple and pure. I had learned about love the wrong way, until the point that love became so complex and hard. Through this event, I recover the simple and pure feeling of love. T.P   Hellen defined love so clearly and after doing the exercises in class, I realized I do have the ability to create love not just with a partner, but with any and everyone I meet. Thanks Hellen for a great class! 🙂 R.L   After examining the love definition, I realized I did many actions in my relationship that has nothing to do with love! Love is created out from nothing to something that is sweet. When I am pure at heart, when I have no negativity, the vibes I give will be positive and will make another happy. Being comfortable and happy myself is important. To love and be loved is simple! Thanks! A.Z   Love is natural. And being crazy about life is natural too. Love shows up in different forms. As long as it is pure and positive, it's beautiful. It does not matter which role you take on, as long as you can enjoy and indulge in that role, it is wonderful! I now understand what Hellen means by being a "life artist." I learn a lot today. I know how to fall in love even more! 🙂 W.W   I don't have to ask my spouse to give me love or ask him, "Do you love me?" I simply need to tell him I love him and make him feel that I really love him. If I just do that, the love in our relationship will naturally grow and I will be the lucky recipient of our love. G.C   Join us for our next Los Angeles event by clicking here!                          ...

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For the good of someone you love

Posted by on Sep 30, 2015 in Articles, Blog | 0 comments

For the good of someone you love

I know of a man who has a nice temperament and is very courteous. One time during social dancing, someone accidentally bumped into his partner at the dance floor. He stopped abruptly and gave the offender a hard slap! After he did that, he instantly “woke up” and apologized profusely. His behavior shocked everyone around him. When someone hurt his partner, the degree to which he would go crazy over it is something you would never witness under normal circumstances. He would rather get hurt than seeing his loved one be hurt. This has been my experience with many married couples. I often witness husbands and wives making sacrifices for the betterment of their other halves. Sometimes, those actions are not recognized by their partners -- for years Even worse, some of those actions may not be what their spouse wants. Yet they keep on doing it -- thinking that these actions were done out of love and thus their spouse "should know" about their good intentions. For example, a husband thinks that if he works long hours to make money, that means love. A wife may think that she is being a responsible wife by putting all her attention on kids, neglecting everything else. This is another major reason why I chose to lecture non-stop to men and women around the world about how to build and create a lasting relationship. Do you know what your spouse actually want? Do you know what you want? Loving and receiving love are abilities that could definitely be learned! I am excited that I will be seeing some of you at the love seminar event on Oct 24-25. Here are the details: For married individuals: How to Use the Strength of Marriage to Improve Your Career, Prosperity and Health? For singles ( or non-married): How to Be Smarter in Knowing Who is the Right Partner Without Another Disappointment?     To unlimited satisfaction in love, Hellen...

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Is Modern Dating a Waste of Time?

Posted by on Jun 2, 2015 in Articles, Blog | 0 comments

Is Modern Dating a Waste of Time?

Modern dating has become a “revolving-door” situation where men and women change partners so often that in the end, they still could not find out who they should marry. I have spoken about not going through an endless dating game for singles but to practice “date after marriage.” That means, don’t waste your time to date for a long period of time, but to settle down with a partner that has the same marital goals as you. And work hard to keep up the romance after marriage. Taking Care of Another Person’s Future Spouse Most singles who are dating spent tremendous time and money to keep up the romantic actions to court a person. Guys like to shower the ladies with gifts and dinners. They went to pick up their girlfriends from work or accompany them to go shopping. Yet, if there is no marriage commitment in place, this dating has a high chance of breakup. All the money and time spent on this potential marital partner is wasted because comes next Valentine’s Day or birthday or Christmas, this person will no longer be in your life. I also termed this as “taking care of someone else’s wife.” Ladies have committed the same mistakes. Some ladies like to go to a guy’s place to help clean up his house or cook for them. Or they thought if they have a lot of sex, it would make the guy happy. But without a marriage commitment, these dating actions are in the same category of taking care of someone else’s husband. There are still only 2 ways dating relationships can go: A) It leads to  marriage.or B) It ends in  breakups. Sadly, I see most dating relationships — 85% or more — end in breakups. It does not matter how many years it takes in between, these 2 ways still have to happen eventually: marriage or breakup. Longer Dating Time Means Knowing a Person Better? Some singles have told me that they need time to know a person well — they like to be certain that this is the right person to marry. They would literally spend months and months and years and years to “get to know” someone. The truth is, people change over time. You change. Your partner will change. This change can come from various life’s instances: setbacks, successes, and many unknown factors not in your control nor prediction. We have known marriages to break up even after 10 or 20 years. So should someone wait 10 or 20 years to date the same person to really make sure the person is the right one? Unfortunately, the attitude of “can’t fail” is already a failure in itself. Let’s look back at our grandparents and their grandparents. Was dating such a long drawn-out complex activity for them? Was there an equivalent of an internet where one can do research on someone’s background before going on a date? The dating time has increased tremendously since the 1960s and dating has become more complex with the huge array of services and online tools yet divorce rates are going up the roof in modern times. In fact, here is more likely what is happening: the more a person try to “check out” a person, the more cautious and untrusting he or she gets with the relationship. “Is this new person going to break my heart as the last one?” will be the question that one carries forwards — unfairly or not — to the new partner. A person who gets his or her heart broken one too many times would have also developed a skill: looking at the faults of another with a magnifying glass. After a few failures, they now know one thing with strong conviction: there are no good men or women out there who are good enough for them. I don’t blame them. Few people can be as trusting as they like in their relationships after accumulating a few battle scars. But when such distrust carries forward into a real marriage, then the price to pay is often too high. How do I know WHO is the right one? Maybe this question of “How do I know WHO is the right one?” is not as important as this question: “Do I have...

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A Love Conversation With My Husband

Posted by on May 26, 2015 in Articles, Blog | 0 comments

A Love Conversation With My Husband

My husband and I don't always see each other as we both have jobs that take us to different parts of the world. Email and texts become our regular way of communication. Frequently, our conversation would be so touching I would cry. Below is a small thread of our recent conversation and what my husband wrote touches me so much! :))))) I am not only confident in me, but also super confident in YOU !!!! Love you, Fushing Reply: Thanks! And thanks for marrying me! Love, Taitai Super happy woman Liebling Sweetie, I love it that you love me. I love it that you believe in me. I love it that you trust me. I love it that you help me so so so much. But most of all I love that you are happy with your life:))) That you are happy with your work! That you love your ( our ) kids :))))) Honey, you could not be more perfect - not for me and not for the whole wide world!!!!! Sorry, when I am sometimes NOT able to talk to talk to you nicely, and instead criticize you :(( My criticizing is only my inability to communicate correctly - because I DO not have any reason to criticize you !! None whatsoever !!! Love you , Your forever "not forgetting you"...

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Marriage Expert Says Most People Missed the Vital Lessons to Make A Marriage Last — From High School

Posted by on May 18, 2015 in Articles, Blog | 0 comments

Marriage Expert Says Most People Missed the Vital Lessons to Make A Marriage Last — From High School

Bestselling author Hellen Chen talks about the vital love lessons that are needed to make the relationship last day after day, year after year. Chen will be holding a seminar soon in Los Angeles and Taiwan. Last month at the Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, matchmaker extraordinaire Hellen Chen talked to singles and married couples who had arrived for her love seminar about how to find the right match and how to keep the relationship fresh as the very first day. Bestselling author Chen was given the title of "The Matchmaker of the Century" by the couples she has helped because unlike conventional matchmakers, she would specially approach skeptical men and women who have resisted the idea of marriage or have given up on marriage. This year, the marriage rate in America is continuing its downward slide, with an all-time low in the number of American women getting married. According to the Census Bureau, for every 2-3 US marriages, there is a divorce. "Most people think about 'what went wrong' only after they have hit a brick wall in their marriages. But the problem starts way earlier," said Chen. Indeed, Chen talked about the trend of parents spoiling their children when they are young -- giving in to their every need. And as the children grew up, when their future spouse or partner refused to 'spoil' them the way their parents had, they would give up the relationship easily. Chen also talked about the missing love lessons which many young people have not learned as early as high school. Academic achievements and career achievements have been the focus of most education curriculum. The subtle art of interacting with the opposite sex becomes something a child has to figure out by himself. When he steps into the working world, he usually has "no time" to learn lessons beyond his job requirements. When one becomes older, those "love lessons" unfortunately do not automatically become acquired knowledge. "Usually, people learn negative lessons about relationships. They might have a couple of dating failures but the more they date, the more negative they would become. They know what is 'bad' about relationships but they never learn how to make it good." said Chen. Chen encourages parents to help their children learn about relationships in healthy ways when they are young, and not delay such education until a later time -- which usually never comes about as career pressure forces men and women to place more emphasis on other types of skills. A father of three came to Chen's seminar on Saturday with two of his teenage sons. After the seminar, Kamran said, "My sons enjoyed the seminar. I am happy they came to learn these lessons at their age. For myself who has been married for close to 20 years, I learned how to make my marriage deeper and better." Chen compares the learning of marriage principles to learning a new sport or practicing a new skill. "We do not expect to know how to drive a car well without having taken some driving lessons and have practiced driving. It does not matter how great of a car or how easy the road is. We still need to practice. Why would someone expect to have a perfect lasting relationship without knowing how to be a good wife or husband?" said Chen. "We have not planned to fail in relationships. But most of us have failed to plan how to make the relationship last day after day, year after year." Chen told the audience. Chen will be holding her next seminar on May 23 in Los Angeles and then will head to Taiwan for an event on June 6. Chen’s work has been featured in over 200 media publications in 18...

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