Marriage Guru says that's what most singles are doing in their dating.
Why Modern Dating Fails. Click below to listen
Unorthodox matchmaker and marriage guru Hellen Chen, delivered a bombshell to the singles attending her love seminar in Los Angeles.
Chen talked about not going into an endless dating game for singles but practice "date after marriage."
Chen revealed that many singles have spent tremendous time and money to keep up the romantic actions to court a person.
"While dating, guys like to shower the ladies with gifts and dinners. They went to pick up their girlfriends from work or accompany them to go shopping. Yet, if there is no marriage commitment in place, this dating has a high chance of break-up. All the money and time spent on this potential marital partner is all wasted because comes next Valentine's Day, this person will no longer be in your life." said Chen.
Chen also termed this as, "taking care of someone else's wife."
"Dating with no marriage goal in mind is simply taking care of the future spouse of someone else. Over 90% of dating ends up in breakups." said Chen, at her Los Angeles Love Seminar].
For ladies, Chen said that they have committed the same mistakes.
She mentioned a few examples: some ladies like to go to a guy's place to help clean up his house or cook for them. Or they thought if they have a lot of sex, it would make the guy happy.
Chen mentioned that it is fine if the lady enjoys the sex. But in a marriage, couples in actual fact do not engage in just sex everyday to hold up a marriage. Without a marriage commitment, these dating actions are in the same category of taking care of someone else's husband.
Tiffany, who is one of the attendees at the Love Seminar, said, "I have not understood why dating for a long time before marriage has liabilities. I have thought it would allow someone to really know another person."
After having followed Chen's advice to short-cut the dating time frame and marry first, Tiffany said, "I am so thankful that I have not experienced the heartbreaks. My husband and I decide to not to waste time to date but to be serious about marriage. We tied the knot and now have our second child. I could not tell you how wonderful it is to be romantic in a relationship but it is with your spouse."
Chen pointed out the ironic part of how most dating singles would enthusiastically do everything they could for their potential partners and yet after marriage, they stopped doing what they were doing before the marriage, disappointments set in and the marriage would go downhill very fast.
Contrary to the belief that knowing a person for a long time could make a person more certain that the partner would be marital material, Chen pointed out that the dating time has increased tremendously since the 1960s and yet divorce rates are going up the roof in modern times.
Chen posed the question, "So let's say it takes 3 years to know a person well. But we have known marriages that break up even after 10 or 20 years. So should someone wait 10 or 20 years to date the same person to really make sure the person is the right one?"
Chen, whose marital advice has been showcased in over 200 publications, radio and TV interviews in 18 countries worldwide, has earned her title of being "the Matchmaker of the Century" as she would specially pick men and women who have been too skeptical and too heartbroken about stepping into marriage.
She has helped over 100 men and women to get married regardless of their past failures.
Chen said, "In generations before us, we have less complication having to date someone for a long time or cohabit with someone first before going into marriage. Now, a person has a long list of requirements to be met and he or she might even want to check a partner's credit score before going into marriage."
Media publications and networks have cited Hellen Chen's Love Seminar as a must to attend for singles. Her seminar touches upon issues which are the direct cause of breakups and divorces. Get Hellen's New Book on "How to find your life partner For a Limited Time Only
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