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陳海倫顧問鳳凰優悅廣播AM690訪談
How to find one's perfect match? How to have a happy marriage? Join us for our love seminar event here: www.consultanthellenchen.com/love-u-forever ...
Read MoreMarriage Expert Hellen Chen: 3 Reasons Why You Should Marry FIRST And Fall In Love Later
This is a great article by Terri Trespicio, published in YourTango. Source linked at bottom. Successful marriage don't start with love ... they END with it. Matchmaker Hellen Chen once stated that she thinks we're spending too much time dating. If you really want to get married, Chen says, you should simply commit to marriage and let romance happen ... later. According to her, dating is a recipe for heartbreak, and marriage should come first. And strange as it may seem, I think Hellen Chen may just be on to something. Chen says she's seen too many people date for two, three, even five or more years ... and then break up! (We've all seen that happen to someone, or possibly even to us.) If you spend too much time dating, you're bound to get crushed. She believes you need a spouse to achieve true happiness and freedom. When you have someone and something to come home to only then will you experience freedom like you never have before. In her world, the barrier that separates two single people poses the problem, so if you just get rid of that and get married, well, apparently ... problem solved. The case for "settling" Be warned, singles looking to mingle—Chen's advice on marrying before "dating" each other is bound to strike you as odd, if not out-and-out preposterous. After all, how do you find the person you want to marry if you don't date first? While I haven't experienced her matchmaking style directly, I know that she's not expecting you to book a chapel on the first date. That said, her message is clear: Stop nitpicking every date to death and finding reasons NOT to commit to someone. Stop wasting years and years in relationship limbo, cohabitating with someone you're not sure about. If you want a happy relationship, you have to settle to some degree. So, stop all this nonsense and just get married already. Before you go dismissing Chen as some out-of-touch relic, remember that what she's advocating isn't much different from what Lori Gottlieb dared to suggest in the book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (and the notoriously polarizing Atlantic article of the same name that went viral). Gottlieb warned us that we'd live to regret the day we let that nice guy, with the receding hairline or questionable spelling, get snapped up by the woman willing to overlook his superficial flaws. If you find something wrong with everyone, you'll end up past your prime with fewer men to choose from. I'm personally not a fan of this scarcity-of-men mindset, but she made her point, reached a lot of people, and perhaps humbled more than a few women into solid marriages they might otherwise have missed. (Did Gottlieb herself ever settle? Word on the street, says Melanie Notkin in her book Otherhood, is that she has not.) Too many choices make it hard to find "The One" In his book The Paradox Of Choice, psychologist Barry Schwartz illustrated the theory that too many options tend to confuse people, breed anxiety, and lead to a kind of paralysis when it comes to making decisions. An abundance, or even a perceived abundance, of partner choices may actually prevent you from choosing just one. After all, a better partner might be just around the corner. Dan Slater, author of Love in the Time of Algorithms believes that online dating even poses a threat to monogamy—or at least happy monogamy. If you know there are other potential mates out there, why would you put up with characteristics you don't like in one person? And yet, putting up with all of your partner's flaws is exactly what you must do, says Chen. That's the job! She makes it clear that this is precisely what you're signing up for, but the payoff is worth every last quirk. Either you marry someone now and start creating a home and a life, or continue to pointlessly date and end up "homeless and loveless" (her words, not mine!). Here are three reasons why her "marry first, date...
Read MoreHellen Chen’s Love Seminar Teaches Men and Women to Not Waste Time in Dating – Houston Style Magazine
Having written 25 books on the subject of relationships and personal improvement, bestselling author and matchmaker extraordinaire Hellen Chen travels the world lecturing tens of thousands of men and women on how to experience a "happily ever after" relationship with their partners. On March 21st, she is arriving in Los Angeles to deliver a special seminar on love and relationships. Chen's famous advice of "marriage first, date later" is a shocker for most who are used to the concept of dating carefully first before selecting the right partner for marriage. This unconventional matchmaker has however used this philosophy to successfully match couples together who then stay together. She encourages singles not to spend time, money and energy going around dating, but rather to look for someone who seriously wants to get married. When asked about why modern dating is deterring men and women from reaching their relationship goal, Chen explained in a recent interview, "90% of dating ends in breakups. When a person accumulates too many breakup experiences, they tend to believe having a lasting relationship is all about having a right person. Yet many people do not even know what a right partner is. " Having been married for over 20 years, Chen shared her personal experience, "Instead of putting all your eggs in one basket of trying to find a perfect partner, why not learn how to be a Mr or Ms Right yourself?" To bring her message about managing love and relationships, Chen had given over 200 international media interviews, has publications in 20 countries and also actively holds training workshops to teach singles and couples how to improve the quality of love in their life. Her workshop "Hellen Chen's Love Seminar" helps working professionals have a lasting relationship and is open to both singles and married individuals. Her next event will be held in Los Angeles on March 21. For registration details, please call 800-912-0510 or visit...
Read MoreHow to Keep Up the Passion in a Relationship?
Is there a magic formula for keeping up the passion in a relationship? How do you have that in-love feeling when things are not going well between you and your other half? Listen to the interview below: If you are part of an media entity, you may request an original audio or video format of the above video by writing us HERE. For other requests or questions, we welcome you to write us HERE. Announcement: How do you find your "perfect" match? How do you have a happy marriage? Attend Hellen Chen's Love Seminar and get your answers. Click here to find the next event!...
Read MoreGet Married Now… and Date Later?
In this interview, Hellen talks about why if your goal is to have a happy marriage, don't waste your time in endless dating to find the right partner. 90% of dating ends in breakups. But what is worse than simply breaking up? Here is the interview: Hellen Chen is an international speaker, bestselling author and has been called the "Matchmaker Of the Century" by the couples she has helped brought together. Her work on marriage and relationships has been featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. If you are part of an media entity, you may request an original audio or video format of the above video by writing us HERE. For other requests or questions, we welcome you to write us HERE. Next Topic: When the Going Gets Tough in a...
Read MoreSingapore Lian He Zao Bao Newspaper Article
Excerpt:…. Ｑ. 您如何知道这两个人适合彼此？ 一般人对什么是「门当户对」有个误解，是把钱财和势力拿来看当不当、对不对，却一点也不看爱情的分量。但其实钱财、势力这些物质的东西，只是一个背景，只是用来辅助判断两个人的爱情，在生活历练中配不配、对不对。夫妻之间，重要的还是精神上的契合，不是本末倒置，反而拿了物质的条件来做考量。 这个「合」是性格上的合不合，譬如很爱动和很爱动的就合，更精准的来说，这个动和静，就是爱不爱讲话的程度，以及讲话的频率一不一样。这有点像一般人常说的：「话不投机半句多」，如果合的话，就是「心有灵犀一点通」。 Q. 听说您不鼓励婚前谈恋爱，请问这是怎么回事？ 因为现代人往往把重心放在工作上，生活步调快，爱赚钱、压力大，在这种情况下，爱情在人生的天平上如何才能平衡？最好的方法，就是先结婚，再谈恋爱。 因为结了婚后，就能专心工作，下了班不用再去寻找爱情，到处去联谊、到Pub找对象，搞得自己很辛苦。我非常鼓励夫妻两人回到家一起吃饭、聊天，既能谈恋爱，又能正常作息。所以，最棒的恋爱就是跟自己的老婆、老公谈，而不是跟还没结婚的情人谈恋爱。 如果不结婚一味的谈恋爱，送女朋友这么多的东西，买手机、衣服、皮包等等．最后分手了，就等于是帮别人照顾老婆，最后她还是成为别人的老婆。 Q. 不谈恋爱，我们要怎么寻找终身伴侣？ 找到你的生命中的另一半，固然很重要，但我觉得更重要的是让自己成熟。你应该要让自己条件很好，让自己成为君子好逑的人，有很多选择的机会，好好的选一个去爱。而最终的目标，还是在于耕耘经营你所选择的。爱情就是这样． 婚姻的成功最大的重点在于个人的成熟度，及意愿。所以如果一味去找“最适合”的对象，而不去培养爱人的能力，遇到真命天子，天女也不会有幸福的婚姻。 最好的方式是让自己快速进步成长，并且改变自己的想法，成熟了，准备好了，就会遇到良缘。 Q. 男女相处，最重要的是什么？ 男女相处，最重要的是沟通。人总是在交谈中得到满足。 两人要学会时时刻刻制造生活上的情趣。要如何对待自己的另一半？把你们之间的爱情想成一个花园。你要种什么花，什么草，就要用什么原料。你要清晰的花香，就不会把垃圾丢到花园去。自己想想，对方希望你怎么样？你希望有什么样的爱情生活？就自己去创造出你们之间的爱情生活。 Q. 如果结婚后，对另一半感到失望，觉得货不对办，要如何解决？ 这是一个很重要的问题。如果很不开心，自己应该努力在每一方面进步成长。让自己成为一个非常好的太太或先生，尽你所能帮助另一半。与其弄到自己心情不好与沮丧，应该想办法提升自己，创造更有趣的生活，并涉及你的另一半。只要你自己进步成长，一切就会看起来更简单更好。 下来，与另一半沟通，看他／她喜欢的方式是什么，了解他遇到的困难。让另一半知道你想要改善婚姻，看他是否愿意与你一起努力下功夫。如果用心努力几年后（大约３年）情况没有好转，那可以和平离婚。 最后，看他是否是爱你，而且你是希望与他在一起的。 两人在一起是否未来还有希望。如果决定继续，就不要放弃并走一辈子，直到成功为止。尽你最大的力量改善帮助这个家，也同时让自己开心。这也是人生里非常值得学习及去尝试的一堂课。 但是，你永远不要觉得难过，或抱怨，或觉得委屈。也不要沮丧因此找理由外遇等。你要尽你所能去创造，去让生活愉快。非常可能发生的是：事情会改善，奇迹会出现。爱会引导你。你能亲手创造出最美丽的爱情故事。 Q. 请问您是否在自己的婚姻中实践了自己所教育的道理？ 我崇尚爱情，一心要结婚。 没花太多时间恋爱，因为我觉得恋爱是结婚以后的事。在与先生的第一次约会时，他就求婚了。我就也答应至今没后悔。 结婚之后，才开始真正体验到自由的滋味，而不是像一般人所说的｢婚姻使人走入爱情坟墓｣。 我老公，在事业上、创作上，有任何新的想法，他一定是第一个跟我讲，生活上有什么问题，也一定是第一个跟我说。有人会觉得，这样烦都烦死了，但问题就在于你到底要不要和他在一起？我花了超过十年的时间去了解老公的兴趣，他后来这么想和我分享他的世界，这是我很感到光荣的！ Q: 请问你的丈夫说过最让你感动的话是什么？ 我们每年都会为生活订下计划，一天要比一天更爱对方。结婚二十年来，每天从幸福日子裡滋长出来的爱意，就好像聚宝盆裡花不完的钱，越来越甜蜜，越走越幸福。我先生对我说：“You are the best thing ever happen to me.”这是我所听到，发自他内心最诚恳的一句话。 - End of Excerpt. The full article is found in the online article or physical print of Lian He Zao Bao newspaper Sunday edition June...
Read MoreMarriage Expert Hellen Chen on “Marry Now & Date Later” – radio interview
Marriage expert Hellen Chen and Liz Dalton talk about "Marry Now & Date Later" during a recent interview on 1340 WGAU radio station. According to Hellen, dating during marriage is the key to a happy marriage and long lasting relationship. She has used this philosophy to successfully match couples together who then stay together. Hellen Chen encouraged singles to not spend time and money and energy to go around dating but to look for someone who seriously want to enter...
Read MoreHow to find love starting from yourself — interview by Hellen Chen
Bestselling author Hellen Chen explains how to find love by starting with oneself. She highlights the reasons why some men or women are not happy in their relationships. What is the most important skill one should possess in order to have a happy marriage? Watch the video above to learn the answer Click here to learn about the next Hellen Chen Love Seminar...
Read MoreRelationship Expert Gives Advice on Dating and Marriage
For those looking for a dating style that’s less iPhone-charged and more traditional, matchmaker and Relationship Expert Hellen Chen has an alternative, albeit abrupt, method for setting people up. Chen, who has offices in both Los Angeles and Taiwan and regularly works with the San Gabriel Valley community, is the author of the book Matchmaker of the Century. She’s been setting people up through her relationship workshops or via referrals for over a decade. “I want people to date after they marry,” Chen explains on the phone from Taiwan, where she’s leading a workshop. Her philosophy on partnership calls for individuals to know each other for a few months and quickly determine if they have the same goals, and then tie the knot. “I think that 95 percent of people out there dating, they break up, and then they have a broken heart,” Chen says. She explains that the bad dating experiences carry on into relationships and the moment people encounter hardships, they break it off, thinking that the next person will be better. According to her matchmaking methods-which are almost like an arranged marriage- it’s better to marry someone and learn to work through problems. Chen echoes Dr. Warren’s sentiment that before people get married they should have a clear idea of what they want and need in a partner. She has married 50 people so far, and says that most couples are happy and starting families. Next month, she is headed to a wedding where the couple has only known each other for four...
Read MoreIs money an important issue before a couple get married?
Relationship Master Hellen Chen was interviewed on 1070 WINA radio station. Hellen shared her thoughts on marriage and money. According to her, one of the biggest excuses for young people to not get married is the lack of money. It is important to find someone you want to marry not because of your money, but because of you. Once married, the husband and wife will work together to build their future, and finance will follow. Hellen is a relationship expert who has wed more than 100 individuals and continues to educate people on happy relationship and successful marriage. Hellen Chen's books "Matchmaker of The Century" and "Hellen Chen's Love seminar".are number one bestsellers at Barnes and Noble. Click here for more information on the bestselling book: Hellen Chen's Love Seminar...
Read MoreMatchmaker Hellen Chen Talks Modern Day Dating on TalkRadioX
Matchmaker Hellen Chen and host Jiggy Jaguar talk about modern dating and what are the mistakes singles make today. According to Bestselling author Hellen, people today are spending too much time dating and at the end, they are taking care of someone else's spouse. ...
Read MoreThe Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Their Relationships
Hellen is once again invited by Brian McKenna and Jeff Burton of 590AM radio station in St Louis MO to have a "heated" and fun discussion about the world of men and women. It is a no-holds-barred interview. Enjoy! You may also enjoy the previous interview "What Women Should Not Do If They Want Their Relationship to Last" Have you ever wondered what is the best way to stop being heartbroken? Learn it at Hellen Chen's Love Seminar HERE...
Read MoreLA18 TV Station Interviews the Matchmaker of the Century
The Matchmaker of the Century gets invited on Los Angeles LA18 TV station to talk about how to find a perfect match and how to have a lasting relationship. The Hellen Chen's Love Seminar, where couples and singles can learn the vital skills to maintain a happy relationship, is announced for Los Angeles, California and also for Taiwan. 陳海倫顧問-世紀大媒婆-受邀LA18“麻辣下午查”节目， 教你如何找到合適伴侶。...
Read MoreRelationship Expert Hellen Chen Featured in Consciousness Magazine
The Matchmaker of the Century: Hellen Chen Why are half of the marriages in the US ending in divorce? The marriage rate per 1000 in population is currently at 6.8 according to the Center for Disease Control; whereas the divorce rate per 1000 in population is 3.4. According to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate among baby boomers has nearly doubled. The rising trend in divorces has also been seen in countries such as Asia, Europe, and the Middle East. Nonetheless, the percentage of single parents has risen to 30% in Hong Kong. I (Consciousness Magazine) was able to speak to The Matchmaker of the Century, Hellen Chen, who has been responsible for helping men and women find the right partners in their life. Chen has been married for more than 20 years. She has been quoted in over 200 publications, having guest appearances on many independent and mainstream radio and television networks such as CBS, NBC and ABC. The matchmaker has also conducted and lectured in thousands of workshops around the world, (her recently one called Love Workshop in Los Angeles) where she has helped couples to love and salvage their relationships. Here is what Hellen Chen had to share with the readers. Tocarra Eldridge: Why do you think marriages are ending across the country as oppose to two or more decades ago? Hellen Chen: It seems like people no longer want to tolerate marriage, and then they go to get a divorce. Basically, they divorce because they decide to give up. They don’t want to tolerate, suffer through or continue. They just think it’s no point to suffer because they don’t see the future or they think it’s too much of a hassle. So, they just give up and decide to quit, and that is really terrible. People tend to think it is so painful to go through, but it’s not true. Mentally, they don’t want to take such pressure. They don’t want to deal with the hassle that comes when things are improving. You have to wait patiently for the results, but everyone wants it to be quick. Everything takes time, whether it takes 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 years and they just say enough with this, I’d rather quit. I think that attitude itself is making people end their relationships. Above is an excerpt of interview. For the entire interview, please click http://www.consciousnessmagazine.com/HellenChen.html ...
Read MoreNational Smiles Week: Smile – even if it is hard to do so!
The 2nd week of August is National Smile Week. The benefits of smiling have long been talked about as covering all facets of a person’s life from personal success to health. A 2010 Wayne State University research project titled “Smile Intensity in Photographs Predicts Longevity” examined the baseball cards photos of Major League players in 1952. The study found that the span of a player’s smile is directly related to the span of his life. Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, while players with wide smiles lived an average of 79.9 years. A study revealed that children smile as many as 400 times a day whereas adults smile no more than 20 times a day. Marriage guru and unorthodox matchmaker Hellen Chen, recently interviewed in Los Angeles, said, “There are many ways to find reasons to smile. But people who are in love generally smile a lot more than people who are not in any relationship. Keeping up the ‘in-love’ feeling with a life partner is the best way to keep smiling.” Chen has been known as an unorthodox matchmaker for specially approaching people who do not wish to get married in the first place. She started off with friends and employees who were single and resisted marriage. “They were smart and competent in their work. But they were extremely skeptical and would even despise marriage itself due to past experience or having heard negative news of unhappy marriages.” said Chen, who has spent up to 8 years to get a person to eventually say “I do.” After marriage, Chen would coach the couples on how to stay in love forever. Even couples who have been married for over 20 years would attend Chen’s popular Love Seminar to rekindle the love sparks. “Smiling and having a positive state of mind have a large part to do with keeping a marriage happy and lasting. I have learned to smile a lot in my own marriage and with every year, my husband of 25 years and I love each other more.” said Chen, whose book ‘the Matchmaker of the Century’ has become the number one marriage book at Barnes and Noble. Chen’s theory is supported by a study done at DePauw University in Indiana. The researchers looked at people's college yearbook photos, and rated their smile intensity from 1 to 10. None of the people who fell within the top 10 percent of smile strength had divorced, while within the bottom 10 percent of smilers, almost one in four had had a marriage that ended. In the second experiment, the researchers asked people over age 65 to provide photos from their childhood. Their smile was rated once again and the researchers found that only 11 percent of the biggest smilers had been divorced, while 31 percent of the frowners had experienced a broken marriage. Overall, the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile. “In schools, we have been taught there are always right and wrong answers. Exams trained us into a pattern of just follow the rules to pass exams. But in matters of the heart, there are no right or wrong answers. If you are generally more positive in your relationship, you will enjoy it and will have the relationship last longer than someone who are constantly negative.” said Chen. “And your reward for smiling despite of many reasons not to do so? The positive influence that you would have exerted in people around you would give you even more reasons to smile.” Chen smiled herself. Chen’s refreshing approach to tackling the marriage subject has been featured in over 300 media publications, TV and radio interviews, in 18 countries. She will be holding a Love Seminar in Los Angeles on Oct 12th....
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