“Date after marriage, not before.”

 

I emphasize “date after marriage, not before.”


When one is just dating with someone, the issues faced will never be the major issues faced by a married couple.

 

The most important point of marriage is to find a person first, then you can create love together with that person -- for the rest of your life.

 

Before you build a house, you need a piece of land. How the land looks is not important. The most important point is to find the land first before you can build a house.

 

If you first fantasize on how your house should look, how the decor should be, it is not practical thinking. You don’t even have land! Once you have land, you can build it any way you want – how fancy the design is, how elegant the decor is – all up to you! If you have land, you are not worried about having an ugly house. You will build it the way you like it. If the house is ugly, then it is your own doing!

 

This is what I mean by the principle of “staking out your land.”

 

As to how to fight for this land, how to win it, what kinds of ways to get it, how to get the contract... this is the time to flaunt your talents!

 

If you cannot get the contract, who would know how talented you really are?

 

Isn’t the sequence to get the contract first, then work on the “how-to” in executing the project?

Many people have lots of good ideas about a project, but they cannot even come near to getting a client’s contract.

 

There is an old Chinese saying: first form a family, establish your career after. The modern individuals often do it the opposite way.

 

They think they must have financial stability before marriage – they have been taught incorrectly on this point. Does that mean a person who has financial stability will never get divorced? Does that mean a person who doesn’t have financial stability could never get married? All these are not correct.

 

The principle is simple. If one person can survive on their own, then two persons will not be a problem!

 

After marriage, one will increase one’s responsibility level, especially after giving birth to kids. One has more willingness to produce. You have your own place to take care of. You may need the income of you and your spouse to make it. But that is taking responsibility in life and it is more interesting and a lot more constructive.

 

Marriage has nothing to do with smartness. It is a matter of willingness.

 

The decision to get married will make you improve. After marriage, you are forced to move forward in life, and having children will force you to move forward as well. For survival sake, you have no choice but to become competent and able.

 

Marriage is all about staking out a path. This path is a very long journey traveled by 2 persons.

 

Don’t think critically about your spouse and how he or she is not a match –even the most matched couples will fight. Do not mind how the man may be somewhat dull in some areas or the woman is not the ideal person one is looking for.

 

So don’t criticize another person. Think about 10, 20 years later, does that person have the potential to travel on this road with you? That is the main point you should look at.

 

When I look at a person, I never look at his appearance or what his salary is. I look at his potential. Is his goal the same as mine: willing to improve and grow?

 

You have to ask yourself what kind of life you would like to live 10, 20 years from now?

And thus nourish the relationship with your partner to get to where you wish to go!

 

If you want to know how to find the right partner or how to nourish the relationship you already have, come and join me at my Love Seminar!

 

Hellen Chen

 

Note: Find out more by accessing my book on this link

 

Ask for personal consultations at this link:

For Taiwan: http://smarturl.it/hcconsultation-ln

For US: http://smarturl.it/hc-la-seminar

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